21 weeks

I'm 21 weeks pregnant now. I have to admit, it's been harder than I thought it would. I'm pretty convinced that although some women having absolutely glowing and symptom-free pregnancies, the majority of women must have a post-birth amnesia where they forget everything to do it all again. Or women just lie to each other.

I've definitely had great days, but overall, it's been hard.
From week 5-20, I dealt with pretty strong nausea and morning sickness. I lost 11 lbs in the first trimester and am only now back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I used more sick days than I've used combined in the past 5-7 years! Sleeping through the night is a distant memory. Between the discomfort of being locked in 1 or 2 positions without waking up in pain or with numb arms and hands to peeing 3-4 times per night, I don't think I'll get a full night's sleep until this baby grows up and moves out. I'm also dealing with crazy hormones where I cry at commercials or spilling milk or screwing up the pancakes. I feel like there's an alien in my belly and I know I haven't felt anything yet!

But then there's the flip side. We found out we're expecting a little boy. Hearing his little heart beat fills me with warmth. And although he feels like an alien taking over my body, feeling and seeing him move is just unbelievable!

I'm starting to freak about how to handle a newborn and if I'll have maternal instinct kick in. I know things will be fine, but I'm now starting to face the reality we're going to completely turn our lives upside down in a few short months.

I'm sick with a cold and tired, so I think I'll go take another nap. I'll keep you updated. And maybe even post a belly pic soon.

Grown Up Things

So we got married...and we are pregnant too!

We actually were pregnant before we got married. We were never going to wait and it just happened much sooner. It was definitely a hard time trying to put final touches on the wedding plans while throwing up on a regular basis. Morning sickness was not just for the morning. All day nausea was more like it. I lost 11 lbs in the first trimester, which likely made it easier to fit into my dress. haha! I'm still not back up to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'm healthy, eating better, not as sick and growing a little baby!

While absolutely thrilled, I never predicted the feelings I'd have about the first few months. I never predicted feeling like my body wasn't mine anymore. Everything I eat and do has to have the baby at the forefront of my mind. And on top of that, the hormones have taken over so even if I wasn't actively thinking about the baby, my body certainly is reminded....constantly.

It's only the past few days where my belly is popping out a bit and I can feel my uterus above my pelvic bone. I listen to the heartbeat almost daily, thanks to a rental doppler. You know, even with all the feelings of being taken over by something the size of an orange, as soon as I hear that little heart beating, I melt. I can't even believe it!

I admit, I'm scared out of my mind. I love my sleep and have no idea how I'm going to adjust to middle of the night feedings, except I know I will just adjust. I am scared of holding a baby that new! I'm scared I don't know what to do right away and can only hope I have some sort of maternal instinct that will help me along. What I'm not scared of is how Steve and I will be as parents. Thankfully, raising his daughter with him has helped us immensely with communication skills, coparenting and learning to compromise. We are the one part of all this I'm not scared of.

We did it!

So...I'm a married lady now! :)

The day was wonderful! I'm so glad we picked the date we did and did it how we wanted. I'm also glad we sprung a bit more for great food instead of bland wedding chicken. haha. Lots of wonderful compliments on the planning and how much fun people had. It was really a truly wonderful day.

Now to settle in and sort through all the shower and wedding gifts, put them away, send thank yous and unpack. For now, I'm going to keep lazing on the couch.

Overwhelmed

I feel like my head is spinning. Work, life, money, work, life, wedding, family, tired, work, life, work life. Sigh. I can't wait until the long weekend when work will calm down and I won't feel so stretched. I mean, overall, things are going well in all of those areas. I just feel like things are so busy right now and they're only going to get busier.

We're having a Mother's Day bbq at our house on Saturday with my mom and Steve's mom and dad. I like playing the hostess so it'll be nice to have everyone over.

...I miss my dad though. I don't say it out loud, but I think it so many times in the day. From the little things I want to call and chat with him about to the big conversations. Actually, just knowing I COULD talk to him would suffice. I can't beleive it's almost been 4 months. The closer we get to the wedding, the more anxiety I get about not having him there. My mom will be walking me down the aisle. We're making a donation in his memory in lieu of favours. We're ditching the parent/child dance. I always wanted 2 things when I dreamed of my wedding: a great man to marry me and my dad to walk me down the aisle. Okay...now I'm welling up. This wasn't meant to be a sad post.

On a good note, my dress is in, I've had my first fitting and it fits like a glove! I'm working on some DIY wedding stuff like the photo card box, my veil, and a flip flop basket. I'll post pics when I'm done, for those of you interested in DIY (Jooms) ;)

Alrighty, better get a few things done. Be back soon!

98 days to go!

I can't believe we're in the double digits now. My days are consumed with work and my nights have been sprinkled with wedding planning. The good thing is that I'm not consumed by it, I feel really great about where things are and the big things are done. I've made my "to do" list and now I feel like the fun stuff is happening. I like the little things. And now we're into the little things. Yay! Here are a couple pics of the invites my sister and I made and our flower girl (future hubby's daughter) in her flower girl dress. She'd like to accessorize with shoes with flowers and sparkles and hair clips with flowers and sparkles. Ladies and gentlemen, the kid's got princess fever.

Enjoy!

115 days!

We're 115 days away from the wedding date. Yowzers! I can't believe how quickly time is flying by. As I waited for a meeting today, I did up a to-do list and it's long and double sided. There's a lot to do. And we're not even going all out! Thank goodness. I can't imagine dropping that much coin on one day.

Anyhoo....we've booked the venue, officiant, photographer, honeymoon condo. We've got the wedding bands, a DJ, ordered my dress and my sister's dress, invites will be going out in April, florist reserved. We've got a few meetings coming up next month for menu tasting and the reception details. It's crazy. haha Thankfully I'm an event planner at work and this stuff isn't overwhelming.

I'd post pics of the dress, but my future hubby can't be trusted. Here are a couple other images for your perusal!

Dancing Shoes ;)



Flower Girl Dress

Night in...alone...

I haven't had a night alone in a long time! I'm sitting here, vegging on the couch, watching bad tv, and surfing on the laptop. Boorrrrring. But so relaxing. I don't have to share the tv :) Niiiice.

Here's hoping when he comes home, he's coming with good news (that we have a best man!) *fingers crossed*

Back to bad tv, lounging and surfing.