I'm just....so normal

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Grown Up Things

So we got married...and we are pregnant too!

We actually were pregnant before we got married. We were never going to wait and it just happened much sooner. It was definitely a hard time trying to put final touches on the wedding plans while throwing up on a regular basis. Morning sickness was not just for the morning. All day nausea was more like it. I lost 11 lbs in the first trimester, which likely made it easier to fit into my dress. haha! I'm still not back up to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'm healthy, eating better, not as sick and growing a little baby!

While absolutely thrilled, I never predicted the feelings I'd have about the first few months. I never predicted feeling like my body wasn't mine anymore. Everything I eat and do has to have the baby at the forefront of my mind. And on top of that, the hormones have taken over so even if I wasn't actively thinking about the baby, my body certainly is reminded....constantly.

It's only the past few days where my belly is popping out a bit and I can feel my uterus above my pelvic bone. I listen to the heartbeat almost daily, thanks to a rental doppler. You know, even with all the feelings of being taken over by something the size of an orange, as soon as I hear that little heart beating, I melt. I can't even believe it!

I admit, I'm scared out of my mind. I love my sleep and have no idea how I'm going to adjust to middle of the night feedings, except I know I will just adjust. I am scared of holding a baby that new! I'm scared I don't know what to do right away and can only hope I have some sort of maternal instinct that will help me along. What I'm not scared of is how Steve and I will be as parents. Thankfully, raising his daughter with him has helped us immensely with communication skills, coparenting and learning to compromise. We are the one part of all this I'm not scared of.